Weighed Down

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There was a time when i thought rest would never come to me. I was so physically and mentally worn out that a deep exhaustion had settled in my bones. Life was pretty much on autopilot - work, home, church, eat, sleep, repeat. No time for dreaming, no time to pause, no time for conversations or to mourn the days lost. 

One October, as I settled in for the evening after a particularly long day, JT brought me my birthday present. To this day, it's still one of the best presents I have ever received. It didn't come neatly wrapped in a coloured wrapper or tied with a bow. It wasn't in a box I could jiggle to try and guess its contents, nor was it something from my list of "Things I need". Which by the way is just titles of books...books and more books.   

It was instead a grey squarish chunk and it was HEAVY. 

My tired arms dragged the parcel towards me and as I peeled back the packaging, my eyes darted to his face questioningly. His expression - amused with a boyish grin. 

After much heaving and grunting I finally pulled what seemed like a heap of HEAVY material and realised it was a blanket. But not just any blanket, a WEIGHTED blanket. 

Pulling it around me immediately I felt the chaos around me disappear. As I nestled into the cushions piled around me, the weight of the blanket sinking into tired bones, I could take pause and just be. 

I don't know what it is about a weighted blanket but sleep comes faster than it usually does. Placebo effect? Well it should have worn out by now but sleep no longer eludes me. For someone who finds it hard to relax, the pressure from the weight helps to ground me and it's like being held in place, snug and warm in my own little space. 

If you wrestle with anxiety and have a hard time resting, I'd suggest trying a weighted snug/blanket. Unless you're claustrophobic then maybe don't. heh. The best thing though is figuring out a bedtime routine that helps you wind down and not think about the worries of the day. 

While I still love scrolling through YouTube and Pinterest before I sleep, my bedtime routine includes getting tucked into the covers and some skinship before bed. The blanket may have added an extra layer of security but having that human touch is probably the best magic sleep aide i need. 


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