Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Letter to my younger self

Dear Mel,

Boy does it feel weird saying that. This is ME, writing to you from the future. So actually, this is really YOU and you have just turned 27!

At 17, you're simply known as Melisa. You think your name is boring and spelt wrong. Well the good news is, 10 years from now, you love your name! You even win a book in a slogan-writing competition about 'what's in a name'.

Right now, most people call you Mel. Even people you don't know - which is annoying! Everyone seems to have shorter names now - Jo, Jules, Fli, Jazz as opposed to Joanne, Julie, Felicia and Jessica. Maybe it's a KL thing. *shrug*

At 17, you look pretty miserable. Studying's a drag and you hate curfews and being perpetually grounded. Ten years from now, you'll have all the freedom and time in the world that you won't know what to do with yourself.

Standing up for what you think is right has got you far, but speaking in anger has led you into many hot soups. You still have not learnt to hold your tongue. But you'll get there I'm sure.

It's ok if you don't know what you want to be, because 10 years from now, you'll have a rough idea. You'll achieve your seemingly impossible ambition of being a writer and a designer but only one pays the bills! You still love doing both.

You also finally meet a guy that gives you butterflies in your tummy. You're with someone you love on good days and who infuriates you on bad days but there are still more good days than bad. It’s hard to see it at 17, but you'll actually go through a number of relationships and flings before finding him but you're very happy right now. You still have that check-list and he pretty much measures up. *yeay!*

Mel, one thing you gotta do is stop fretting about the hair! At 27, people love it and so do you! (well, most days.) You've learnt to embrace your curls and the only regret I have right now is not discovering the wonderful 'curl creme' from Boots sooner.

One advice I'd give to you is to take bigger risks. Stop being lazy and actually DO what you’ve set your heart to do... You’ve got tons of great ideas so take ACTION! And remember to speak up babe. You're still super soft sometimes.

You won't always be 'Miss-goody-two-shoes'. You're pretty feisty and you show some new colours at University and you begin to question if that's who you really are, but just hold on to your principles and always depend on The Big Guy and you'll be alright.

You'll also find out that people are cruel, guys are asses and girls are bitches. But you'll learn to sort out expectations and learn that some people become the rule while others you meet are the exceptions.

You're still labeled "Nice" but a few have seen and experienced a whole other you and claim you’re pure evil, which kind of balances up the niceness.

Wear anything you want, because you can! The three-colour rule is crap! Remember the bright pink shorts and Golfer tee and black boots phase… well that’s sorta back. Heh.

Keep Writing. And save all your work!!

Remember how good it feels to do a back-handspring/ a walkover? In a few years, that skill will be gone. However, all those sit-ups and leg-lifts they made you do at synchronized swimming training totally pays off! You don't develop a gut till ten years later. But that's cause you're pretty much a TV-watching lump right now. You should head outdoors more.

The closests friends you have right now are the ones who will stick with you. You're still friends with 'The Girls' from high school and they're part of the bestest things in your life. Their craziness actually keeps you sane and you're still all a bunch a mismatched hodgepodge of characters and you love them to bits!

You meet a new set of girls at Uni and you totally get the whole sisterhood thing. They help you through so much and know you inside-out and you'd be long gone if it weren't for them.

Remember how your little sister annoys the crap out of you? 10 years from now, she still does! She's still a brat but you love her to bits! You eventually make up for making her cry every day. On the bright side, she's now one tough nut!

Your family is still very loud and a little screwed up but they’re God-sent and you’re so blessed to have them. You have more patience now because of them. They’re irreplaceable. J

You and The Big Guy go through many many ups and downs and life’s been pretty much a whirlwind on this journey. But yesterday, after talking to an old friend, you realise you’ve grown, and it’s the bestest feeling ever. It feels like the world is painted in colours only you can see and it feels like there’s a song waiting to burst forth from you when you’re walking in the street. Life’s sometimes not what you picture it to be but you’re ok with that. You learn to pray for Joy every morning and that’s what you live on – sunshine and fresh air and all-surpassing Joy.

It might feel like a fa├žade or a front you put on, but you push past the doubt and just KNOW that it’s Joy which comes from above. And it fills your God-space and you know – you’ll be ok.

Mel, even though you're convinced you might die young, and you're even sometimes a hypochondriac, you're very much alive and kicking at 27. You even love yourself more in a non-narcissistic kinda way, and have come to terms with being the little oddball.

You'll soon realise that people love you for exactly who you are. And babe, seriously, don't sweat the small stuff. You're still a worrywart and you get panic attacks so please take a chill pill.

Big hugs from your older (and wiser) self!

Melisa, The 27-year old

1 comment:

Felicia said...

hahahaha love it! :)